Yay!

Thank you, Jesus!!!!!  I woke up this morning with absolute joy.  For the past few days, I've awakened sad and teary.  Maybe part of it is that I been dreaming about my ex.  Caught me completely off guard.  It's been happening Every. Single. Night.  And if I didn't see his face in my dreams, his presence was alluded to.  Dang the subconscious!!  But today...I repeat, today....I don't feel sadness.  Ahhhhhhhhhhh, Suzette is coming back!  It's not just a hope, a prayer, a goal, but I feel it.  Yay!

If that wasn't enough evidence, here's something else quite telling.  I just finished listening to Brian McKnight's Christmas CD.  If that thang ain't sexy?!  And you know the vibe, it's all about romance.  Normally, listening to something like that would tear at my joy and leave me in a teary depression.  Not today!  None of that residue, experienced or imagined, is on me this morning. 

I actually WANT to go out.  Not to work, mind you.  For the first time in a month and some change, I want to  get out...socially.  You know, BE among others.  I feel like a light has brightened inside and wants to shine.  Before today, I have pushed myself to get together with friends.  Sometimes it was uplifting.  Sometimes, not.  Everytime though, I felt anxiety about leaving my cocoon of an apartment or the comforts of isolation. 

Without a doubt, we females can't help talking about men.  I think it's in our DNA.  Either it's our hopes about men, frustration with not having a man, frustration with the man we have, planning something involving a man.  We are men junkies, I tell you. Normally, I am a card-carrying member of this club.  But after a breakup, you want to cut your card up and bury it. 
Everything's a reminder.  Movies, commercials, billboards.  Romance, sex, relationship is constant chatter.  P-a-i-n-f-u-l....except today!!! Yay!

With none of this emotional angst, I've rechecked my emails for upcoming meetups, social gatherings and invites.  I'm looking forward to this weekend.  I feel like putting on my makeup, throwing on something striking, putting on some sexy shoes and just strutting.  So much coming up!  I feel like I'm breathing again.  I feel that glow from the inside.

Okay, okay.....doooooown gurl.  Take it easy.  Wisdom says enjoy yourself but ease into it lest you should have a mad adrenalin rush and crash afterwards thereby plummeting back into depletion and sadness.  Okay, I hear you, God.  I'll just smile a lot, strut alot and breathe alot for now!