Everyone has quirks. You know, some oddity or peculiar way of acting. Some people snort when they laugh, wear sandals in the winter time, or go through some weird ritual on game day. Different from being unique, a quirk is something that’s strangely different. I remember a Dr. Phil episode where a wife complained that her husband cried too much. She found it weird and quite unmasculine. When asked more probing questions, it became apparent there was nothing wrong with her husband. He was simply more emotional than what his wife was use to. When he felt something deeply, he cried. Dr. Phil asked if her husband was wimpy in the bedroom. She grinned and said, “No, not at all.” “Do you feel your husband is a bad father?” asked Dr. Phil. “No, he’s a great dad,” she responded. “Then, lighten up. You have a caring husband and loving father."


How can you tell whether something is a quirk or a defect? I suppose if I were to use the Dr. Phil episode, I’d guess it might be a defect if the father’s emotional response was unhealthy in some way. Perhaps if he was coddling the boys or not providing an environment for their healthy growth and development or if he was stuck in a phase of grief, this might be seen as something needing intervention. It was evident that the husband wasn’t harming anyone though. He was just different.

Many couples waste so much time arguing about or criticizing each other. What difference does it make whether the toilet paper is above the roll or pulled from underneath? What difference does it make whether the toothpaste is squeezed from the bottom or from the middle? None of those things is important. Perhaps your wife has a touch of OCD and has to squeegee the shower doors after every shower. Perhaps your husband pours vinegar over his ice cream. It might be interesting, even annoying, but is it hurting anyone? All I’m saying is, maybe we shouldn't major on what's minor and leave what’s major unattended.