My Natural Hair Anniversary: I AM ENOUGH

It was September 19, 2009 when I did it.  I did the Big Chop.  Little did I know how something so simple as cutting my hair would be the pathway to freedom. 

I never intended to have a TWA (teenie weenie afro).  Quite the contrary.  My reasons for going natural was pure vanity.  My sister had been getting her hair silkened and I wanted mine to have the thickness and movement she was enjoying.  Moreover, my hair had been over processed and my healthy relaxed hair was becoming nothing more than lifeless strings.  Because I spoke with my sister's hairdresser, I thought transitioning would be simple.  It wasn't.

In the weeks leading up to my decision, I had been getting up every morning and rod-setting my hair.  A curly fro seemed to be the only style that I felt comfortable with.  I was the only person of color at my company and feared that if I did anything dramatic, everyone would be stunned and uncomfortable.  Perhaps that is why I kept hearing Don Imus' voice saying "nappy-headed hoe."  It taunted me throughout, rendering me fearful of doing the big chop.

It wasn't until I went on youtube.com and found some short natural hair styles, that I found peace about cutting off my hair.  I searched website after website.  Watched video after video.  Finally, I saw this cute short do with a nicely shaped hairline.  I knew that my hair texture would not be as curly, so, with the aid of gel and shaping cream, I achieved a look I could be proud of with my 4b spongy, kinky coily texture.

It was a quite a bold move.  I was daring to transform in front of my own eyes.  I cut away the hair color.  I cut away the signature relaxed look I had grown accustomed to.  As a child, I hated my hair.  I wanted the long, silky hair of my Crissy doll.  I even put old T-shirts and stocking caps on my head, tied to swing like ponytails, to have the movement and length that I envied.  I was bare.  I had nothing to hide behind.  I looked in the mirror and it was me.  Nothing but me.  I see me. 

Day 1

The day after, I decided to take my new look for a spin.  I had prepared myself for the stares and even for men not even looking my way.  After all, brothers preferred the long, straight hair, right?  Rather than carry an aura of discomfort or lack of confidence though, I squared my shoulders and sported my new look.  I even decided to wear no large earrings and no makeup.  I was going to be bare.  Just me.  To my surprise, a man - a brother, even - motioned for me to roll my car window down.  After I parked my car, I noticed the gentleman had pulled up right beside me and still motioned for me to roll down my window.  I did.  He said, "I just had to tell you that I LOVE your hair."   I grinned from ear-to-ear. Yes!  As he and I walked and talked, I became aware of a surge of confidence.  I felt powerful.  I felt more in touch with myself and the world around me.  I took of my shoes and felt the sand between my toes as we walked up and down the beach.  I felt more alive.  I felt more girly.  But most of all, I felt such joy. 


  

Day 365

As the months have passed, that joy has grown.  I feel more in touch with my heritage amongst the kinkyfied.  I feel more soulful.  I feel more loving.  I feel a profound connection with everyone but even more with my natural sisters.  It's not clique-ish or condescending.  It's a shared freedom.  Instead of my world getting smaller, it is growing.  I find myself more welcoming of different cultures.  Welcoming of committed love.   But more than anything, I feel an abiding truthfulness about me.  I am who I am.  No bells.  No whistles.  Just me.  Resounding in the depths of my soul is this one thing:  I...AM...ENOUGH!

Natural Hair Journey: Transitioning

Transitioning is a BEAST!  I think we’ve all been there. That creamy crack (hair relaxer) calling out to us and promising something better. I ain't gon lie.  I considered getting a relaxer.  Fortunately, instead of succumbing, I did the Big Chop.

For those of you who are transitioning to natural hair or thinking about it, I have some advice. 

Have. A. Plan.  I agree with Candee, a fellow blogger on Natural QTs Blog on this one.  Sure, you plan to go natural.  But you need some direction.  Now, Candee's plan focused on styling.  Me?  I think you need to take some other factors into consideration as you develop your plan.  Hair type. Environment. Budget. 

Hair Type.  When I first started my natural hair journey, I didn't know there were different hair textures.  All I knew was "I like that style."  And all I wanted to know was, "How do I make my hair look like that?"  One of the best things anyone could have done was point me to websites that talked about hair texture.  One really good site is Naturallycurly.com.  4b's holla!  Sidebar.  If you have kinky coily spongy hair, no matter what products you use, you will not have a loose wavy curl pattern.  So, learn what you hair will and won't do and run with that.

Environment.  In her blog post "Say It Loud," Candee talks about living in Raleigh and how humid it is.  This brings up an important point.  Know how your environment affects your hair needs.  You may live in an environment where the air is dry.  If so, products that help your hair retain moisture are essential.  Trust me, it matters.  Another aspect of environment is what type of job you have.  One of my friends is in the military.  There are strict guidelines for how you wear your hair.  So, before you go natural take stock of your surroundings. 


Budget.  Going natural can be expensive - at least, at first.  Many natural sisters admit to being product junkies.  I don't consider myself to be an addict, per se; but while experimenting with various products, I have accumulated enough product to fill the cabinet underneath my bathroom sink!  To avoid this, I suggest that you join a natural hair group.  This way, you can benefit from product swops.  Members bring their product to share with others.  This way, you can try before you buy. 

Styling.  Admittedly, I didn't do this transitioning thing proper. The first thing I did was look for hair styles.  I was getting tired of getting up every day and roller setting my hair.  Having only 1 inch of new growth, I needed to find TWA's (teenie weenie afros).  After visiting several sites, I found it.  My muse.  A TWA with pretty shaping around the hairline.  That's it, I thought. 

My funniest memory was the day after my BC (Big Chop).  I went to a natural hair meetup group in Virginia.  There I was, thinking I looked great; but when I got back in my car, I noticed how dry and dusty my hair looked.  Instead of feelin bad, I decided to have a good laugh.  So one final tip:  Learn how to use the products.  Just as you wouldn't deep condition then shampoo, you need to understand what your products do and apply them in the correct order.

It might be difficult at first, but for me, it has been worth the investment. 

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