As I sit here at my computer, watching Oprah, I am amazed at the joy I still feel. I woke up and felt such joy until I asked God if I was Bipolar. Really, I did. I didn't know if I needed to prepare myself for the crash to despair.
As I ponder this, I remember the last time I felt grief was Sunday at church. A spirit of praise ignited in morning worship and while everyone was dancing around me, all I could do was walk and cry. I felt such sadness. The tears running down my cheeks and a lump in my throat but there was a yet praise. A yet praise is being thankful regardless of what you're going through. I remember saying "thank you" and though I was in pain, there was gratitude in my heart.
As I ponder this, I remember the last time I felt grief was Sunday at church. A spirit of praise ignited in morning worship and while everyone was dancing around me, all I could do was walk and cry. I felt such sadness. The tears running down my cheeks and a lump in my throat but there was a yet praise. A yet praise is being thankful regardless of what you're going through. I remember saying "thank you" and though I was in pain, there was gratitude in my heart.
I didn't feel relief immediately. I still felt choked up at times. Monday came. I felt a little better. By the end of the day, I was almost prancing cause I was sooooo happy to be on vacation. My joy remains.
Every single moment of Days 1 and 2 of my vacation have been full of gratitude and joy. It's like the weight has been lifted and I am just...glad. Today, I feel on the other side of grief. I can recall fond memories without feeling sad. I grin and even catch myself giggling. There's a song I've heard a gospel quarter sing that says "Jesus tooka my burden. I could no longer bear. Jesus tooka my burden in answer to my prayer. Anger and fear subsided. My spirit was made strong. Jesus tooka my burden and He left me with a song."
I'm stepping out of my corner. Stepping out of my sadness. Not only stepping into the Light but being filled with that Light. Thank you, God!
