Creating A Stir

Setting a goal for today really helped me.  I contacted the business contact about my writing and called both numbers for potential dates. 

The business contact gave me a website to submit articles.  He explained briefly what he does.  Kinda reminds me of Associated Content - with a tweak here and there.  There doesn't seem to be a big monetary advantage at this point but there is a possibility of getting my articles out to a more diverse readership.  Who knows, somebody might read one of my articles and ask me to contribute - with pay.  He said that they had a great need for Parenting articles.  Can't wait to find out more. 

My potential dates, I will refer to most endearingly as Mr. Small Town and Mr. Out Of Town.  Mr. Small Town was eating a sandwich when I called.  Of course, I had to rub in that I had just finished barbecue chicken, yams, collards and hush puppies.  I'm such a stinker!  Interestingly, he remembered my profile sight-unseen.  Impressive.  I must have made an impact.  He asked the typical question I've been asked, "so, what is an attractive, 51 year old woman doing on a dating site?"  It almost sounded like a pick up line: what's a gurl like you, doing in a place like this?   "I could ask you the same question, minus the woman part of course," I responded.  We laughed.  Then the next typical question, "You look like you're slender.  You are slender aren't you?" With this, he explained that he's never dated a heavy woman and he supposes he should say so on his site but it would make him seem narcissistic.  Besides, he didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.  I was just about to respond when he immediately said he didn't want to chew in my ear so he'd call back later.  Uh, okay.

For Mr. Out of Town, I left a message.  Typically, I wouldn't consider long distance, but he's only three hours away.  Oh my God, did I say just three hours away?  What can I say, he caught my attention.  I'll tell you what made him stand out.  It wasn't that he gave me his phone number.  It was how he responded to a question I emailed him.  I asked him to clarify what he was looking for.  His profile said he was looking for email/talk yet the body of his content said he was looking for something long-term.  "With turning 51, time is becoming increasingly precious to me," I said.  "If our goals are compatible, then I'll call. If not, I don't want us to waste each other's time."  He responded graciously yet forthcoming.  He apologized for the confusion.  He clarified his intent was to talk, find out if there is compatibility, go out, go out some more, possibly get serious, then a lasting relationship.  Boom, boom, boom.  Man, I thought.  Can't get more clear than that. 

Today's Post: Put Myself First!

Just finished my Bodies in Motion workout with Gillaad.  Oooooooooh-weeeeeeee, my shoulder muscles and calves ache but I think it's good.  We'll see if it's a hurt so good or if I'll end up in traction. 

After a couple of days of being back to work, I feel I need to establish another ground rule.  Put myself first!  I find myself getting back into the rut of putting work first.  Take last night for instance.  I worked until 9pm.  The only reason I stopped was Mr. Mature called.  Wrong order. I've set some goals that will enhance my life and make me a more rounded individual.  One of those goals is dating.  Another is writing.  I believe that the energy that I create in being consistent with both will attract to me what I'm looking for:  getting a paying gig as a writer and meeting a romantic partner with which to share my life. 

So here's what I am going to do, TODAY.  One, I'm gonna call the contact that my friend gave me who helps writers market their work.  One thing I hadn't thought about was blogging for money.  Bloggers get paid!  Maybe that's an avenue we can explore.  Second, I'm going to contact one of the three phone numbers I got within 24 hours of activating my dating profile.  If he doesn't answer, I'll go to the next one.  It's about exercising that heart muscle.  Getting back out there.  Creating the future that I want, one step at a time.

I've found that if I don't establish some boundaries around my priorities, my work life will intrude.  It's not so much that I work long hours, rather, it's the mental tiredness that results.  When I'm mentally tired, I won't challenge myself to do anything more than cut on the TV or read.  I go into hibernation mode. 

Sooooooooooooo, I'm going to take my shower and get ready for work.  I'll holla at you later.

My post from last night (January 5, 2011)

I didn't tell you that I'm on two dating sites.  One, a free site and the other is a Christian site.   Seems like the flirts, messages and gifts have declined some today.  I guess when you're on dating sites, you get a lot of traffic one day and the next, you receive precious little.  That's the reason why I have to wear this dating stuff loosely.  I don't want it to become something I'm compulsive about.  It's easy to become consumed.  Gotta keep my perspective and most of all keep my balance.   Can I have a sitting-on-the-side-of-my-bed unsnapping-my-bra moment of honesty?  I don't like going out on weekdays.  I love guys and I sincerely want to get my dating back on; but I'm snug as a bug in this apartrment.  ChiilIin.  I''ve found a renewed joy in just being with myself.  This morning, I got up and changed into some workout clothes.  I had come across Bodies In Motion with Gillaad on the Fitness Channel and awakened with the intent of working out.  It was good.  I was pooped after 20 minutes!.  As the kids say, "He go hard!"    Back to dating.  I gotta catch you up!  Along with the three phone numbers, there was a gentleman I met on the free dating website who called me twice.  We'll call him Mr. Mature.  He's the grandfather of 6 and this is the second night he's called me.  A grandfather, hummmmmm.  Why does his being a grandfather creep me out?  It's not like I'm not at an age where I could be a grandmother.  I just don't feel like one.  Nevertheless, he's new to the area and trying to get settled but desires something long-term with a special woman.  I have to admit, his manner is one of a true gentleman.  He is easy-going and polite.  I'm concerned that he talks rather slowly.  You know the way an older person talks - slow and d-e-l-i-b-e-r-a-t-e.  His picture doesn't look that old but his voice reminds me of a deacon or trustee in a Baptist church.  Okay, okay, he sounds OLD.  He's 57 but there are youthful 57 year olds, right?  I'm trying to stay open, here.  I'm so vivacious and high energy.  Well, I won't know until I know.    We both said we want to take things slow.  Let me clarify slow though.  Slow, to me, means not hopping into the sack or falling in love with a feeling.  Slow means taking the time to get to know a person.  Asking the right questions yes; AND getting into their space.  He has suggested getting together for a nice dinner but hasn't set a date yet.  I have to be fair.  He just moved here three months ago from another state.  Okay, okay, but I gotta do what'll keep me from weirding out.  I got it.  I'll give our talking to each other until this weekend.  That'll be about a week.  If he doesn't pursue getting into my space, I'll be forthcoming about wanting to meet him.  If he shys away from it, I'll see that as a flag and keep it moving forward.  There's slow and then there's s-l-o-w.    Well, that's it for tonight.  I'm out.