Domestic Violence: For Better Or For Worst?

While listening to The Michael Baisden Show on the radio, I heard a discussion between Michael and Dr. Robin L. Smith, author of Lies At The Altar: The Truth About Great Marriages. The topic was domestic abuse. Michael was curious why women stay in abusive marriages, especially women of faith. Dr. Robin talked about the embarrassment surrounding abuse but also zeroed in on a common fallacy: the belief that domestic violence comes under the for better or for worse of her marriage vows...(click here to read the entire article)

Compassion

"Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?" (Luke 10:36)

Who is our neighbor?  As a child, my understanding of a neighbor was someone who lived in my community.  With maturity has come an awareness that my neighbor is whomever I come in contact with.  

Take the story of The Good Samaritan.  Today, I heard it more deeply than ever before.  The face of the homeless man I've had the privilege of exchanging kind words with came to mind.  I'll be the first to admit that there was a time when I'd purposefully fiddle with my radio or act as if I was on a phone call when I drove by someone with an "I'm homeless" sign.  Nothing like life to check you on your arrogance!  During the time I was unemployed or underemployed, I relied on the kindness of others. Had I not had it, my plight could have been so different.  How much more am I responsible to pay it forward.  

I'll tell you what meant most to me.  I was feeling such internal pressure to let people know that my resolve to do something meaningful with my life wasn't born of irresponsibility or arrogance.  I wasn't in need of a pep talk or a "girl you need to find a job talk," though I was always paranoid that this is what people would feel if I didn't find a job soon.  My sister didn't only stay present but gave money freely.  She'd tell me that she was going to deposit X or Y amount of money into my account.  When thanked profusely, she responded simply, "I know your character."  I will NEVER forget that.  She'll never know how healing that was for me.  She didn't need a blow-by-blow of what I was doing with the money or how many resumes I had sent out.  She never even asked.  She involved herself in helping me get to the next level.  

To be Christian is to be Christ-like.  To follow the teachings and the spirit modeled by Jesus.  He said that the man who fell among thieves, who was robbed, beaten and left half dead is our neighbor.  For too long, we've been like the robbers, seeing other people merely as objects.  We've imposed our will on others and if they failed to meet our expectations, we've retaliated by insulting them or walking out on them.  For many single women, we feel like men owe us.  We have reduced them to fulfilling some fantasy that we've somehow convinced ourselves is a standard when in truth it is a wounded ego working itself out on another person.  

And then there is the priest.  The one who in Biblical times was responsible to offer up sacrifices on behalf of the people.  He was the one who went to God on our behalf.  How could a priest see him from a distance and decide to cross to the other side?  As the pastor said today, "It's because he saw the man as an obstacle."  

Lastly, there was the Levite.  The Levites served the priests and were sometimes priests themselves.  They were very active in the Tabernacle and in Temple services.  They were the singers, the musicians for Temple Services.  They often maintained the Temple itself.  They served as teachers and judges on different occasions.  Doesn't that sound like the modern day church member? Consequently, the Levite walked over to take inventory of the situation.  He saw the man's condition.  Still, he walked to the other side.    

Surprisingly, a Samaritan, the reject of the day was the only one who had compassion on the man.  Samaritans were regarded as second class, mixed breeds, Gentiles.  They were outcasts from the religious community and the Jews of that day looked down on them.  Who would have thought that this man would tend to the man's wounds and pay someone to attend to the man's needs for as long as it took.    

I'm not suggesting that we risk our own safety. There are some people and situations that it would be unwise to approach. I am more concerned about the condition of our hearts.  We pass people every day.  In our churches, in our communities, on the street are neighbors whom we ignore.  Our neighbors are friends that we know are going through tough times and somehow we convince ourselves that being a listening ear is enough.  

True compassion is active.  True compassion gets involved.  True compassion can't see a brother in need and "shut up their bowels of compassion."   

Nobody demonstrated this like one of my college friends whom I had not seen in several years.  When I posted a "help me" message on Facebook, she sent me a private message.  The compassion I experienced was beyond what I had come to expect.  She called to check on me, brought me food, listened as I cried and did it without getting tired.  She encouraged me to be true to myself.  Such a big heart.  The irony was she was unemployed and dealing with medical challenges herself.    

Today's message at church was a reminder that getting a job was not what this detour in my journey has been about.  God could have given me a job at anytime.  This season wasn't about that.  It was about my purpose.  It was about a wake up call.  I experienced a new depth of compassion and acknowledgment.  Someone stood with me against all odds.  Likewise, part of my call is to stand with others.  To have a ready heart to step to the plate when God reveals him or her.  Circumstances do not determine the value of a person no more than their skin color does.  Herein lies compassion: seeing another as an extension of yourself.  The Samaritan didn't see an object as the robber did or an obstacle as the church leader and church worker did.  We can easily pass by people if we don't see a connection between them and ourselves.  The Samaritan saw himself.  He was loving his neighbor as himself.  

Profitability

To my blog followers and those who visit incognito, I'm still here!  I can't believe it's been a little over a month since I last blogged.  It's like life fired a gun and I've been running ever since.

I've continued to live up to my new mantra:  my playing small does not serve the world.  So, I've been doing all I am gifted to do.  When we last spoke, I had just launched my new website:  suzetterhinton.com.  Since that time, I've done some tweaking.  More than two people advised me to establish a unique presence for all my businesses rather than having my one site.  I took this to heart and can proudly introduce three additions to my portfolio:

purposeful-connections.com

Purposeful Connections is my coaching site.  Since launching the site, I have partnered with a woman who knows what her calling is, but heretofore allowed distractions to hinder her progress.  So many of us can identify with that, including myself.  Life happens--this is true--but for those of us who feel the restlessness of that something-more on the inside, there is no rest.  Our dream, our calling, our longing for something meaningful keeps us up at night and interlopes on whatever else competes for our attention.  It's our reason for being.  I'm so glad that God won't allow us to slumber without shaking us from time to time.

Not only am I helping her but she's helping me.  She's putting a demand on my calling.  When I coach her, I feel the energy that goes beyond education, experience or skill.  I feel the energy of my calling and the wisdom that comes up and out and blesses her growth.  There's nothing like it!

odysseyadministrativeservices.com

Odyssey Administrative Services is my virtual administrative and bookkeeping business.  It allows the business-minded me to be expressed.  That part of me that is gifted as well as trained to problem solve, create solutions to administrative problems, partner with home-based and small businesses to handle the paperwork that oftentimes gets pushed aside.   When she was in the third grade and her mother passed, my mom took care of her brother and sister.  She took her meager earnings and managed to feed them and clothe them.  She wasn't taught this through education.  God gave her the wisdom to work with money.  That gift fell to me as well.

Despite my recent efforts to move away from it, bookkeeping always makes room for me.  I now realize that is a gift.  A gift that has often been drained rather than inspired.  I further understand it wasn't that I didn't like bookkeeping or doing administrative clerical work for that matter.  It was simply that I wanted to do it my way.  I needed the room to flow in that gift without being overburdened and undervalued.  I am now working with a company in RTP.   Though I enjoy the atmosphere, the job and the people, I sense there is a strategy at work.  My Wise Self sees it as an opportunity, a pathway to my ultimate goal of working for myself.

odysseymusicconsultants.com

Like Tiger Woods' father put a golf club in his hand and the Williams' sisters father put a tennis racket in theirs, my mom and dad put playing the piano in ours.  My mom and dad recognized our talent early on but my mom was instrumental in landing my first job:  playing for the Junior Choir at my church.  Prior to my taking the job, my elder sister had been the pianist.  "For three years, they've paid your sister $4," she said. "It's time for that to go up."  Despite opposition, my mom stood her ground.  She withstood times when the preacher brought it up in his sermon.  You know, those times when everybody knows it's you that the preacher is talking about.  I chuckle when I think of it.  My mom kept a smile on her face and an "I shall not be moved" in her heart.  This was a guiding principle that served as a foundation for what would later be Odyssey Music Consultants.

To some, this was an atrocity.  How dare she require the church to pay me for a "gift" that I should use freely!  I heard it time and time again.  When I'd return home from an event and I had not been paid, my mom would get on the telephone and find out what happened.  Though she was criticized, I realized something.  My mom held people accountable to their word.  If they said they were going to do it, she expected them to do so.  If they did not, she wouldn't permit me to play for them until they settled up.  What a gift to give to me, to all her children.  For this taught me to respect my talent and to require others to respect it too.

When I consider Matthew 25: 14-30, emphasis on verse 27, it challenges this notion that people should use their talents all willy-nilly.  The servant who buried his talent and only gave his master the exact thing he had been given was reprimanded and called slothful.  The Bible likens the Kingdom of Heaven to this for the master didn't just want his servants to acknowledge their talents but to produce something greater, richer, better.  The Bible calls it profitable.  My mom, in essence, taught us not to be slothful.  Profitability is often mentioned in the New Testament yet the church world of my younger days seemed to frown on it when it came to "working for the Lord."

Nevertheless, Odyssey Music Consultants is my bedrock of profitability.  From 10 years old to now, my gift has made room for me and yes, I have made money with it.  I believe in my heart that God is pleased every time He checks my account.  He knows what he entrusted to my care and applauds what I am doing with it.    

So I say this:  Whatever you have been gifted to do or trained to do, maximize it.  Like me, you can turn what you love to do into a business.  In the words of the Bible, make it profitable.  This let's God know that he can trust us with more.  This, my friends, is a Kingdom principle.