It never ceases to amaze me how Life can invite you into its own Master Class. Take the aftermath of my refrigerator purchase. My son went to Newark to seek housing for his summer internship. My sister visited from Atlanta to attend the ordination of a pastor friend of ours. With these concurrent events were expected and unexpected financial demands. Though I enjoy having visiting friends and family, it can become quite costly. You spend more. Food. Gas. Time. Unknown to them, I had surges of overwhelm from time to time. I questioned silently whether I really should have bought the refrigerator. Should I have gotten a cheaper one? Should I have waited to see how financially impacting this Memorial Day weekend would be? Was it really Wisdom telling me it was time to get the fridge or was it my need to have certain conveniences right now?
I put gas in the car. I bought lunch for everyone. But it was disproportionate to the provision. As if the Universe heard my hidden anxiety, provision showed up. Without my even having to ask, my sister filled my gas tank. When we got hungry, she bought blackened tilapia for us. When my son needed money quickly to put down a deposit on a place he found in New Jersey, she immediately wired him the money. When a taxi service overcharged his credit card, she had had the same happen to her during her travels and gave him good advice on how to handle it. God used her to take the pressure off. Yes, we took care of each other but God's provision shined through her in completely unexpected ways that tripled, quadrupled my li'l offering of hospitality.
This morning, somewhere between 5:00am and my arrival back home from taking my sister to the airport, a Greater Voice invited me to reflect. Earlier this week, my Inner Wisdom said, "It is time." I was obedient. Provision came. Obedience is the doorway to provision. Was the cost of the refrigerator even a factor, I pondered. What if I had decided to use my resources to buy a $2000 refrigerator instead of paying a little over $800? Would it have mattered? Was the provision contingent on that?
As I thought about this and listened for the answer, I remembered Star Wars. You know that part where Yoda is instructing Luke Skywalker about using the force. Luke is in the handstand position with objects floating around him. "Focus," Yoda instructs. "Feel the force." While luke is focusing, he receives an impulse that his friends are in trouble. Anxious to get to them, he lamented that his aircraft was stuck in the marsh. While he cowered in despair, Yoda takes center stage. He closes his eyes. He raises his hands. The huge aircraft begins to budge and before long it levitates with the same ease as the smaller objects.
"Size doesn't matter. Big. Small. The force is the same." Yoda's words spoke to Luke's moment and now to mine. I understood something I had not before. God's provision isn't contingent on anything other than my obedience. My Wise Self prompted me to act and I did. Not only did God provide the resources needed for me to act; but the resources I'd need afterward. God is All-Wise and All-Knowing. He already knew what refrigerator I would pick. He already knew how much it would cost. He already knew the needs that would arise afterward. When God opens a door, you cannot close it. You can stare at it and question the why's and the how's or you can walk through it.
This weekend, I found that to be true. Surprisingly, I also found the converse is true as well. My lawn looked a hot mess. I hadn't noticed until Friday. You have to understand, my lawn was absolutely gorgeous. My grass looked like green-tuft velvet. Beautiful! You can imagine my surprise when, as I backed out of my driveway, I saw that it was now yellowish brown and weeds were sprouting all over. Argggggggghhhhh! I called friends, telling them I needed lawn care immediately. Despite their recommendations and making multiple calls to lawn care providers, my lawn continues to look awful. What happened? Rain. One thunderstorm after another. One scattered shower after another. What this has taught is no matter how much I want something now, God knows when and how to provide. And so I rest.
