"Be the change you want to see in others." Who said that? I can't recall but I have to tell you that I can see that God has silently been working on me. The things that I have prayed for in a man have been the very areas of my belief system, values and behaviors that God has been working on and helping me to work through.
I remember telling God that I wanted a man who was kind and who had a healthy value for women. Sadly, my past experiences with men have not revealed kindness in them. They were good at hunting, great at courting, but not really good at loving. Regardless to what they professed to be - saint or sinner - I have found a strong tendency towards egotisticality (is that a word?) that became more ridiscent with time.
What life has taught me, however, is I was arrogant to point fingers. Did I have a healthy value of men? Curiosity, yes. A desire to understand, yes. But healthy value? In retrospect, I don't think so. If a man didn't call within 24-48 hours, I was ready to give him his pink slip. I was afraid of being the pursuer. But what of a woman's ability to help? What convinced me to sit on my laurels and be served? I may not give him tit for tat, but I do have something intrinsic in my femininity that a man needs. He needs someone his heart can trust in. He needs to feel regarded.
One of the greatest compliments I received from my boyfriend was what I give him emotionally inspires him to give of himself and his resources. My prayer is that the evaluation phase of our relationship will not give rise to criticism that fractures our ability to provide the emotional support we so richly need.
