Who's on my team?
With all the people I interact with, who is on my team? I'm reminded of the book, The Five Love Languages, where Gary Chapman has identified 5 ways love is communicated. He believes that if you can understand your partner's love language and he understands yours, you can have a satisfying relationship. It is a very thoughtful book and has helped me to identify my love language. My primary and secondary languages are quality time and acts of service. I'm not content with merely talking on the phone, emailing, texting and the like. Connections are important to me. I want to see the person. I also value their involvement. If a person is close to me and doesn't show up for what's significant in my life, I question the substance of the relationship. I use to get really bothered about that and in some cases I still do. It depends on how close that person is to me and what expectations go with that.
Knowing this has called into question what I need going forward. In the Spring of 2013, I will be launching my first book. This is really, really big for me. Like my 50th birthday and my housewarming, this is right up there for me. I realize the whole point of a book launch is to introduce your book and to encourage people to buy it. Just as important to me is having folks come. If a person I consider a close friend foregoes the launch and purchases the book, I'll feel let down. I will. It's not merely about the goal; just as important is having them share the experience.
Most of us extend love to others in ways meaningful to us. Though it may make us feel good, the other person might not understand that. All this is of consideration at this time in my life. If I feel that I am extending myself to speak another's love language but they aren't extending themselves likewise, then it doesn't work. That's when I dial it back a bit. Sounds easy, right? Not really because emotions are often involved. That's why I've made a conscious decision. If a relationship requires more than I can give, I stop and dial it back.
When a rocket soars to a certain height, the rocket boosters have to fall off else the rocket will blow up. I think that's the same way life is. I've finally found what I am called to do and I am so grateful. I actually feel as if I'm soaring at a higher altitude. I have something to look forward to. I will be working for myself doing what I LOVE. What a gift! As a result, I'm not in the same place that I use to be. I'm not wishing. I am doing. Some friends will make the transition with me but others will not. That makes me feel sad. If I could bundle everybody up together and physically take them I would, but that's not how life is. Sure, I can choose to be disappointed, hurt, angry or I can choose to be grateful for the time shared and the value they brought to me. I choose the latter.
I welcome with open arms and an open spirit all who God will send my way. And I bless those whose season is over.
