Just as it takes a village to raise a child, I am discovering it takes a diverse group of friends to keep you balanced. I've often marveled at girlfriend friendships. In fact, there were times I'd watch sitcoms like Girlfriends. Movies like Waiting to Exhale or Sex In the City and envy the closeness between those women. Through ups, downs, boyfriends, breakups, husbands, ex-husbands, times of plenty and hardship, the relationships had the resilience to remain against all odds. Well, at least for the most part. For there were times when the friends were at odds. Truly upset with one another. Not speaking. Not getting together. And it forced the other girlfriends to manage times with one and times with the other. Drama, drama, drama, yes. Emotional overload, I'd prefer to call it. Maybe that's the order of the day when you get more than one woman in a room for too long.
The more my mind and heart clears, I am finding myself taking stock of my surroundings. This includes my friendships. I am blessed to have long-time friendships with my sister and college chums. Though I seldom have conversations with my college chums there is a depth to our friendship that has not been duplicated in these 28 years. Then, there are friends I sustained during my single-parent phase of life. They were there to listen and to help.
Since that time, my friendships have expanded. A rainbow coalition of sorts. I have my friends who nurture my authenticity. They are the ones who truly get me. My soul finds rest in them. But if anything woos me to not be real, they won't let me get away with it. They know how to probe gently yet persistently. Ironically very different, there are friends whose interaction with me is solely church related. We worship together. We sing together. We experience the corporate experience. Then there are my hanging buddies. The ones who are like my Sex In The City girlfriends. They make sure the fun-loving Suzette comes out to play. We share, we eat, we argue, we shop, we laugh, we hang out. I have biological sisters whom I adore, yet still there is a sisterly accessibility that they bring to my life that I have been missing.
Since that time, my friendships have expanded. A rainbow coalition of sorts. I have my friends who nurture my authenticity. They are the ones who truly get me. My soul finds rest in them. But if anything woos me to not be real, they won't let me get away with it. They know how to probe gently yet persistently. Ironically very different, there are friends whose interaction with me is solely church related. We worship together. We sing together. We experience the corporate experience. Then there are my hanging buddies. The ones who are like my Sex In The City girlfriends. They make sure the fun-loving Suzette comes out to play. We share, we eat, we argue, we shop, we laugh, we hang out. I have biological sisters whom I adore, yet still there is a sisterly accessibility that they bring to my life that I have been missing.
Under normal circumstances, I could easily fall right back in step with things. But right now, I feel awkward. Furthermore, my emotions betray me. It feels the same as when a wound heals on the outside, but when you bump up against it it still smarts! Ouch! Some situations feel like fingernails being scrapped down a chalkboard! It is true that I feel the zest returning. Maybe I just need something new. Or maybe I need to better manage my life. Discern when I'm ready for what and how much I can take at that moment. My heart is open but it's not strong yet. It's not aching but anything too intrusive is draining. Zaps the energy right out of me. Right now, I need lots of warmth, coziness and TLC.
So today, I enjoy my alone time with my Boys To Men CD. It's raining out which is the perfect backdrop for my cozy day. No claps of thunder, no flashes of lightning, just smooth, steady droplets of water. I write. I listen to music. I watch movies. I eat. I pray. I breathe. Selah.
