Staying open doesn't mean that at all. No one should tolerate being regarded with less value than they have for themselves. You shouldn't have to dim your light so that someone else can feel good about themselves. Staying open does not require that. Rather, it means making room for another person. It means embracing someone for who they are. It means welcoming someone new and different without dismissing them prematurely.
"But he didn't open my car door," she complains. "He is suppose to know that he's suppose to do that!" So, because of this one thing, she discounts that he was patient while he waited for her to get ready, drove to the restaurant and paid for the meal. It is good to have standards; but many of us confuse dating etiquette with character. Just because a man is chivalrous doesn't mean it comes from a pure place. Time reveals what's truly in a man's heart.
Case and point. A friend of mine was in a jewelry store with her boyfriend. They came upon a man who was buying pieces of jewelry for his woman. To an onlooker, his intentions seemed loving and generous. Imagine the surprise when my friend learned that his attitude was very self-serving. He was more interested in buying what he liked and what he wanted her to have.
Staying open means keeping your heart available. So many people have allowed pain to shut their hearts down. They want intimacy but fear it more. It'll cause you to disqualify a good man because he doesn't live up to a Hollywood manufactured ideal. An available heart puts more weigh on what's enduring. A wise heart is careful yes. Guarded and defensive, no.
