Why is it that every January, you can’t turn on the TV, log onto your computer or stand in line at the grocery store without seeing weight loss, weight loss, WEIGHT LOSS. It’s everywhere! Granted, I’ve never struggled with my weight. I can eat whatever time of day or night that I want to and not gain a pound. Some might say, “lucky you,” but not necessarily.
Today, I watched several back-to-back episodes of the new series on OWN called “Supersize versus Super Skinny.” A doctor by the name of Christian Jessen oversees two people – one obese and one painfully skinny – as they live each other’s lives and adopt one another’s eating habits for five days. I’m not quite sure why they’ve decided to do this as a weight change jumpstarter but on the episodes I saw today, it seemed to be effective. During the cohabitation, the participants expose and shed many of their biases about the other as each participant discovers something more human about the other. For example, one of the ladies on the show was overweight and admitted that food was like a warm hug from the inside. She needed this as she felt so cold and alone after her baby died.
Despite the caution that weight loss is something that can’t be just a goal but a lifestyle, every January we are bombarded with new diets, new exercise equipment and low-cost gym memberships. And though talk show hosts, doctors and advice columns encourage folks to get to the root of their overeating, the same folks come back years later almost more obese than before.
I don’t know what the secret is to permanent weight loss. I don’t have a silver bullet or a foolproof action plan. Nobody does though everyone tries to convince you otherwise. I don’t want to sound like a skinny *itch but I get really concerned. I get really concerned that some people claim they are doing this for their health when in the deepest part of their belief system, they feel that they aren’t okay if they don’t look like the celebrated images that are plastered across most magazines. They believe that being one of the pretty people will somehow fix what’s not fixed or lacking.
Despite my being skinny all my life – pregnancy doesn’t count – I have not felt lucky to be skinny. Being a skinny, nappy-headed dark-skinned gurl in the South, I got some pretty nasty and condescending remarks too. When I was little, I remember my older sisters’ friends ranting and raving over my fairer-skinned baby sister and reaching all past me to hold her as if my 2-year-old mind could not tell the difference. I know what it’s like to be called broomstick or pole or clothesline because I was so slender. I remember other girls’ bodies maturing faster than mine and the guys drooling over them and looking all past me. And when I did start to develop, my top half grew much faster than my bottom half leaving me with the shape of a straight pin. There was nothing modelesk about any of that.
Watching the series today brought up another concern for those on a quest to be skinny. The doctor told the skinny participant that she was at risk for joint problems and osteoporosis due to her poor diet. She wasn’t getting enough nutrients to keep her body strong and she was in dyer need of calcium. He told her that if she didn’t change her eating, her health would decline just as significantly as her obese counterpart. The stress on her body even caused the puffiness around her young 19 year old eyes. Wow! I was amazed at that. What was significant to me was the fact that my report at my annual physical was great in every area but one. They told me I had osteopenia, a precursor to osteoporosis. It’s not from being skinny but rather the fact that I’m perimenopausal. Nevertheless, the point was made. Skinny is not necessarily more healthy if you don’t continue to make healthy choices.
You cannot yo-yo diet and stay healthy. Certainly, dieting can help you lose weight but what else are you losing in the process? Few people read up on all this. Our bodies are too smart. They know if they are being starved. They know how to compensate for what is lacking. Furthermore, for those who have fantasies of somehow being more acceptable when you drop the pounds, let me give you a news flash. No matter how slender I am, I’ve noticed that most single guys still gravitate towards the girls with the straight long hair, the fairer skin and the voluptuous frame than us skinny *itches.
Am I saying don’t make weight loss a goal? No. Besides, it’s not my call. What you choose to do to your body is up to you. What I do say is that there is too much competition out there if how you look is your primary goal. Attractive and sexy ain’t original. Those types of women are a dime a dozen. But what is most eye-catching – at least to guys who are about something – is the strength of who you are. You don’t believe me? Then I dare you to sit down in a crowd and just observe the people around you. It isn’t the prettiest gurls or the most-cut men who have thriving relationships. Plain ole ordinary folks are the ones falling in love and getting engaged and spending their lives together. Have you ever wondered why? I guarantee you that it’s not because they are skinny or “pretty.”
Maybe just maybe it's that they put emphasis on the inside. Or perhaps that other person sees what they long for the most and connect with it. I dunno what that is but I know it's gotta be deeper than skin. We are more than our skin. I believe that shedding the pounds around your heart is just as important as your body. I also believe that a reclaimed soul should be just as important as a healthy body. My point is this. Many of us put so much emphasis on the external that we don’t attend to our deeper need. Regardless of your size, if you have armour around your heart and are holding yourself or the opposite sex at bay because of one reason or another, that needs your attention just as much. How about losing the weight of mistrust that keeps sabotaging every hopeful relationship in your life? How about taking a look in the mirror and confronting your nasty attitude that treats others like objects that are suppose to be better, do better, make amends for all the BS you’ve gotten from others? Your pain does not entitle you to anything from anyone. It's just the byproduct of being human.
Most of the single women I see are very attractive. So working on looks isn’t where the effort needs to be. Saying “there are no good single men out there” is a cop out when you aren’t putting just as much effort into becoming a willing and open spirit. Sure, shed those pounds and gain those pounds. Do all that. But don’t leave out your heart. Cause no matter how skinny you are on the outside; if you are jacked up inside, your happiness and satisfaction won't last.
My name is Suzette Hinton. And that's my truth.
