A story that has inspired me since I heard it was the one about Nelson Mandela. If you read the Wikipedia account, it simply says, "In 1962 he was arrested and convicted of sabotage and other charges, and sentenced to life imprisonment. Mandela went on to serve 27 years in prison, spending many of these years on Robben Island. Following his release from prison on 11 February 1990, Mandela led his party in the negotiations that led to the establishment of democracy in 1994." What it doesn't say is he was offered release repeatedly. Accounts say he flatly rejected them. He stood for equality and refused to be freed without the dignity of his brothers being freed as well.
To get a better idea what Robben Island was like, I conducted an online search. Robben Island was brutal. "The duty of those who ran Robben Island and the Robben Island prison was to isolate opponents of apartheid and to crush their morale," was one description. It was a place of great suffering.
So how was Mandela able to triumph through such degradation? I didn't see the movie, Invictus, but Sharon Sim-Krause recalls in her blog, Shot of Inspiration, the moment where Morgan Freeman (Nelson Mandela) shares with Matt Damon (Francois Pienaar) how William Ernest Henley's poem helped him to survive. I know that it is controversial in Christian circles as they feel it is a denial of the power of God for a man to say, "I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul." I don't hear it that way. I hear the God-man speaking. The Greater One living inside of us. How else could 27 years of brutality not break him? How else could he move from being a victim to a victor? When I look at life experience in the context of true courage, nobility and purpose, I perceive that the strength of the human spirit is the Image of God manifesting.
There was a past episode of The Oprah Show where a audience member said she didn't believe in angels neither did she believe in God. She said she believed in the strength of the human spirit. The power that resides inside us as humans. She said she also believed that there's an energy evident in nature. Where does that strength or power or energy come from? I wanted so much to ask her that. Do humans who can't stop themselves from being born or dying manufacture that? Does nature cease to function because we aren't present? Well then, who or what created that? Who set nature on a timer so it knows how to maintain itself? Who created the circle of life? There has to be a master mind, a greater intelligence that predetermined that. I call Him God. (Sidebar: when I say Him, it is inclusive of his maleness and femaleness).
With the aid of this greater intelligence, a flesh and blood man or woman can change. I'm a witness of that. What is now familiar can be changed. Doesn't matter what your familiar is. Where it might be familiar to allow a man or woman to abuse us mentally, emotionally, sexually or whatever-ally, we can change that. We have the power to create a new familiar where we are honored, nurtured and respected in our relationships. Science even tells us that we have the power to rewire our brains thereby changing what we accept and what we attract into our lives. Nowhere in my life experience has that been more evident than when I was working with substance abusers. By educating a DWI offender about the pharmacological effects of alcohol, substances, even prescription medications and how they hijack the brain, he or she was able to make informed decisions about whether to continue using or whether to operate a vehicle. Some got it and transformed their lives. Knowledge is power. Education changes cognition (thinking) and thereby changes behavior. When one understands who he or she is apart from a substance, an experience, a criticism, he can live in the integrity of that understanding. He is no longer defined by externals and can now makes his residence in that higher understanding.
I had to repent. My God, I thought. I have idolized money. For many of us who worship at the throne of the almighty dollar, it is a fear of lack that drives us. For some, it manifests in workaholism. For others, it manifests in suicide. And still others, it manifests in murder. I was willing to sell out my true gifts and talents for an hourly rate. Fear drives us, exacting the whip of intimidation as it threatens poverty, i.e., lack of respect, lack of influence, lack of power, lack of freedom, lack of worth. I'm sure that many of my unemployed or underemployed sisters and brothers are hearing some semblance of those bullying beliefs. "You gonna lose your house," they say. "You're going to lose everything." "You can't provide for your family." I was spending most of strength on trying to morph into something that I wasn't. I wasn't happy. I wasn't blissful. Dr. Wayne Dyer, global wisdom teacher, says that bliss is the byproduct of an inspired life. I wasn't inspired. This is needed to change your familiar.
Here is where I believe the human spirit asserts itself. It throws off denial and says, "No! No more!" It refuses to live in that intimidated, uninspired state. It refuses to cower and pay homage to it. It refuses to deny itself the truest expression of itself. It stares what it fears in the face, grabs it in the collar and says, "I will outlast you! Believe that. I am BIGGER than you!" That, my friends, is what I believe happened when Mandela read Invictus. My, my, my, that's grace. Grace that secures us for the journey.
Once that happens, ideas and creativity and resources are activated. Something bigger. God, the fashioner, the author and finisher of our faith comes alive inside of us. We are the masters of our fate. Whether it's life or death, we choose. We choose if we are willing to die for our cause. No one or nothing bullies us into submission. Whether it's working for someone else or working for ourselves, we choose. Whether it's moving and shaking on Wall Street or moving and shaking on your own street, we choose. His homing device starts signaling opportunities to create, to serve, to share. When I choose fulfillment over obligation, I am the captain of my soul. This changes your familiar.
Does it get scary sometimes? Yes. Does the familiar send bullying or self-limiting thoughts sometimes? Yes. Nevertheless, like Nelson Mandela and those brave souls of ancestors past, something Greater spurs us onward. I want my life, my environment, my familiar to reflect wholeness. To be inspired. Doesn't matter to me whether it's writing a column, running a business, coaching a client, playing for a church, bookkeeping or lending administrative support to a company. I've taken off my mental ideal of what will be the avenue. I'm just open. I'm just willing. I'm just experiencing. I'm experiencing the joy of leading a summer camp for women. I am experiencing the fulfillment of making coffee and giving a warm smile to families of children on the pediatric floor of the hospital. I am enjoying opportunities that are presenting themselves. And surpising to me, I am enjoying being a part of an accounting team of two for 12 hours a week.
One step at a time. One decision at a time. One opportunity at a time . One interview at a time. I'm surrendering to that energy that knows. I am being led, moved by compassion instead of coerced by obligation. I am living life my way instead of trying to live up to some presumed or perceived standard that so doesn't fit anymore. I am changing my familiar. With the strength of God and the supportive angels He has placed in my life, I will advance--greater, richer and more alive than I've ever been. I am changing my familiar. You can change your familiar.
