Who says I'm too old to write? Probably the same folks who say you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Or the ones who say you can't find love after 40. To this, I say, I am reinventing myself at 50. I have found love at 50. And, I am 50 times a writer! My mission is to write, out of my Being, words that illuminate and evoke honesty, liberty and connection.



Monday, December 27, 2010

Happy Birthday To Me!


What a beautiful day!  Upon logging on to Facebook, I was overwhelmed by the outpouring of well-wishes on my wall.  I was moved to tears as I read all the "Happy Birthday's" I received.  And intermittently were comments that moved me as folks talked about how much I have touched their lives.

 
In comparison to last year's birthday - the big 5-0 - by all appearances this birthday has been pretty low-key.  No hoopla, birthday party or going out on the town.  I've not left the house. Yet, all day I've felt overwhelming gratitude.

May I be very transaparent?  My 50th birthday was ridden with anxiety about growing or looking old.  I needed fanfare.  I needed smiling faces, gifts and much ado made over me.  I needed to look good in my form-fitting jeans and fashionable boots.  I needed to feel like I still had it.  That I wasn't ready for sensible shoes.  I kept looking in the bathroom mirror, or any mirror for that matter, to make sure I didn't have a sprouting of fine lines around my eyes or more furrows on my forehead.

Age 51 feels more emotionally stable.  I feel like a wiser graciousness is coming up from my toes, flowing upward and filling me with a deeper understanding of who I am becoming.  No more perplexity about where I fit or how I fit.  I don't feel anxiety about where I'm going or growing.  Authenticity no longer feels like something I am pursuing; rather, something I embody.  Authenticity is a reservoir, springing up and flooding my soul.  With it, the revelation that God dwells in me as me.  Thanks Elizabeth Gilbert for sharing that simple yet powerful truth!
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