On April 11th, I wrote a blog where members of my family were used to illustrate a point. I wrote about my cousin Jenny, my cousin Marvin, and my cousin Lawrence in particular. I said they didn't reach their full potential. That was a judgment on my part. And it was wrong of me to make that judgment. This blog is a retraction of what was written. Without consideration for how what I shared would be viewed or even making sure of the facts that I shared, I wrote about what I had heard over the years or what was my perception but I never checked to make sure of the facts. My family has made me aware that my account is not true. Even more importantly, their stories were not mine to tell. I should have respected their memory and their immediate family and friends better. I take full responsibility and own up to my error.
To be honest, I don't know the details of my cousins' lives. I only know how they made me feel. Each one treated me with acknowledgement and respect. I knew they loved me. I felt accepted by them. That is all that I really and truly know. There were aspects of their lives and yes, even their deaths, that can't have been and shouldn't have been summed up in one or two sentences. They mattered. They mattered to our family. They mattered to their community. They each had a purpose that was bigger than what I realized at the time I wrote about them. God holds each one near and dear to His heart. And the full extent of their lives isn't in how they died but how they lived. Each one taught me something. Each of them, in their own way, taught me what unconditional love is all about. They taught me compassion for the hurting and the suffering. For this, I am forever impacted and grately indebted to them.
Each person in our lives comes to teach us something. Regardless of the length of the encounter, every detail I believe is carefully crafted by someone greater. I call him God. There is a saying, "what would Jesus do," that was very popular some years ago. I believe that He expands our capacity to love more deeply and live more richly if we are open and willing. In this moment of introspection, I am encouraged to be more mindful. Mindful of how we live. Mindful for how I use my pen. Our lives are a testimony of who we are and who God is. We can make a difference. We can use the lessons that life is trying to teach us to become the best of who we are.
I think about death sometimes and hope that by praying about how I'd like it to be--since I've been told that all of us have to go that way--I'll be able to exit with grace, leaving an impact of all whom I have touched. Regardless of how it goes down, I hope that my life, the sum of it, won't be in how I died; but how I loved, how I forgave, how I became better as I learned better, how I made you feel, how I allowed God to use you, my friends, my family and my readers to bring out the very best in me.
To Jenny, Marvin, Lawrence, and other family members who were hurt by what I wrote, my sincerest apologies. I love you eternally. Rest in peace.
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