I was reviewing many of the youtube videos of Jada and there was one of Will being interviewed. He was asked what is the essence of Jada. I could see in his eyes the wheels turning. I can imagine he was trying to peel back all his experiences with her to get to that one thing that sums up his wife. “Commitment,” he said. "You can hang your hopes, your dreams on her and she’ll never let you down."
As I sit here, watching the sun rise above the trees outside my window, I know that it isn’t the romance that draws me to this couple. No more than it’s the romance that draws me to President Obama and Michelle. It is the commitment. I...choose...us. It's like they share a secret that we can only guess about. There is a knowing of the specialness there. It’s not just lustful, it’s like-ful. It’s sparkle in your eyes-ful. It’s the you are enough-ful. It’s that I’m still in awe of you-ful that you see in their eyes.
What makes love endure?
I have to admit I don't know. I've had fantasies. I've observed couples and admired certain things. To be honest, though, I've never experienced a pure selfless love outside my relationship with God. Even as I evaluate my own capacity for love, I've only loved one person selflessly - my son. I've loved because of. I've loved in hopes of. I've loved based on. I've dreamed of true love, the Knight in Shining Armour happily ever after, but was taught obligation, martyrdom and suffering . So much suffering in the name of love. So much tolerating and enabling your partner at the expense of love. So much settling for less as if this is all you deserve of love.
Though millions of books have been written, movies have been produced, people have exchanged I do's, what makes love last is still a mystery. You love the way a person looks. You love how this person makes you feel. As time moves on though, Love is challenged. Most times, it's nothing new. It was there all along but now, it can't be ignored. Perhaps the whisper has now become a shout. And if you continue to ignore it, it will be a brick up side your head. You know within yourself that something's got to change.
Is it just me or does it seem like men are the last to get it. They will tell you it's gonna be alright. They will ask you to just give it time. It's as if they hear you, but they don't really hear you. Maybe that's what the fairy tale is about. The beautiful princess is crying, "Help! Help!" But only her true love can rescue her. Maybe it's because he's the only man who could really hear her. What about swimming the moat and slaying the dragon to rescue the beautiful princess? What is that about? Maybe a dad was telling his little girl a story about his love journey. Maybe he used these images to explain what he had to overcome from within and without to love her mother, his wife. A man's journey from selfishness to selflessness. You may be laughing now but I believe that if a man deeply loves a woman, he measures her worth by how much he's sacrificed. What was required of him to have her and what he's had to do to keep her.
The moat requires overcoming what separates. If you can't swim then you build a bridge. You overcome obstacles to love. Dragons must be slayed or removed, whether fire-breathing or Pete's Dragon. They are a threat. You can't manage a pet dragon. A pet dragon might be a close relationship with an ex. It might be a job that requires too much travelling. Regardless of how it manifests, it's harder to remove because it might be tied to your ego or a hidden insecurity. Try as you might, you can't keep it and keep her. I guarantee you if Disney's Pete met a girl, the dragon would have to go...lol. Dragons take up so much space, require too much time and effort in our lives until there is no room for love. These dragons might breath fire on the relationship; but more times than not, they just suck up all the air.
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