He's Here

Ah, married life! The toilet seat left up. Shaved hairs in the sink. I, like any other woman, cringe when I see it. But what would it matter to have the toilet seat down if my husband weren't here with me?

When I got married, I was tempted to shift my focus from loving my husband to changing these behaviors. I was walking around the house and to be sure, there was some evidence of my husband in every single room in the house. A pair of shoes by the door, the wrinkled bed in the guest room, and yes the pots and pans he left soaking from last night's dinner in the sink. My initial thought was this house is a mess. Shoes go in the closet. Bed covers should be smoothed after you get up. Pots and pans need to be washed and put away. But then something higher said. "Suzette, he's just marking his territory." He laughed with a "that's right," when I pointed it out.

I remember a part in my dialogue with one of the speakers for my upcoming You Asked? Good Men Answered! telesummit. We were talking about how men feel when women say to them, "We need to talk." Then he clarified, "But, I'd rather have her talking than quiet." That was profound. He understood what we women know. When we get quiet, it ain't good. But what he was saying went deeper than that.

He went on to talk about how much he needs and treasures her voice: her talking, her singing, her way of being and what it does for him. It's her sound that he treasures. It's her sound that he needs. When we are able to get beyond what's upsetting our orderly world and cherish the sound that a person brings to our life, then we truly love that person.

I don't want my man to be quiet. Sure, I'd prefer that the toilet seat were lowered, shaved hairs were removed from the sink, pots and pans were washed, shoes were put in the closet and the bed were smoothed after he's laid on top of it. But if I had the choice between his compliance and his sound, I'd choose his sound. His sound is his presence. His sound is him. He is in every part of my house. It's his fragrance. Wherever I go, I carry his fragrance. When I come home, I need it. He's here. He's home!

I love him.